playing with shutter speed.
































also: i finished my roll of polaroid spectra film, will scan them soon.

a little something I made a while ago, but just recently uploaded.
it is of me on the day I turned twenty, one of the loveliest days I have existed so far.



I love the spring.
I don't turn twenty one until may.
I'm not looking forward to it.

sometimes I ask myself how old you have to be before you stop believing in fairy tales.
I'm hoping I'll never find out.

eventually, potentially.

these words
are ruining my life.

my dreams are running away with me again.

I find peace
in being
alone.















which is more than most people can say i think.

there is a twin reflex camera at aperture that is superseeded in my mind right now. its so beautiful and in lovely condition...
also it takes one twenty film which is considerably easier to find than six twenty film, and its reasonably priced.
twin reflex's are challenging though.
scott let me play with it, it felt so happy in my hands,
it just needs to be there.
i havent boughten anything for myself in forever, not a dress or a shirt or a camera or anything.
unless you count groceries.
ive been saving for my 6.2 billion trips this summer, namely France, and i dont regret it.
i need to travel to survive.
i still am not sure if ill be working or not.
will probably work through june at least and save what i can. unideal, but realistic.
maybe i will come into a large sum of money.

anyway i want this beautiful little camera.

will starve for photos.
(they'll write that on my gravestone.)

Im kind of
missing on this time of year.






































or mostly just the spring. I have always been incessantly in love with april and may.
its my favorite time of year, everything's changing for the better.
I'm challenging myself to photograph movement more, starting today. I feel my photos are too static sometimes.
(first image is my zenit, second is minolta xg, third is diana)

a bunch of shots from the abandoned house hattie, kira and I broke into last weekend. I got dozens of good ones, here are some of my favorites.
we had been there once before a long time ago,
the sunglasses I left behind were still sitting on the dusty endtable where i had forgotten them.

taking a little trip to the analog film store with my friend max today, one has been open in Tremont for a few months now and I had no idea!
anyway im ecstatic, im going to buy some softone film for my spectra, and they even sell modified 120 rolls that fit in 600 cameras, hopefully its not too expensive... I would die to take my brownie hawkeye out for a spin.
my fingers are crossed.

there are a list of options I have this summer and my mind is growing tired of juggling them. Adventures I have been invited to pursue:

go to paris with my lover.


go on a cruise with my sisters


go to isle of palms with my lover


go to arkansas for jenna's wedding and staying on petit jean mountain for a few days


go see colorado/oregon/seattle with brian:


and perhaps most importantly, spending a few weeks working on my sister's farm picking berries on the beautiful east coast/Maine/New Hampshire area.


OR
I could work full time at my minimum wage job.
dilemma.

SOS
I need advice.

do you ever feel
its all just
too beautiful,
too fast?

tonight i put up my photos downtown for my little exhibit, and i am very excited and proud.
ive been keeping so busy lately i can hardly believe it.
i am surrounded by the best people, really.
they demand adventure out of me.
its so wonderfully exhausting.
going on more than a few photo excursians this weekend. You know, its strange having a DSLR, its so easy. Too easy mayhaps. I am ecstatic that i still love film so much more regardless.

anyway some lovely visions should come from the next few days.
they're already clouding my thoughts.
and that
is a wonderful feeling.
lately it's all
wonderful feelings.

well its a new year again, although, I dont really consider january first the start of it, I count may nineteenth, the day after my birthday. Because I don't remember things by what year they were in, I remember them by how old I was at the time.
so no resolutions.
not until may nineteenth.
and anyway, the more I wonder, the more I realize.

I've got starlight
I've got sweet dreams.
I've got my man
who could ask for anything more?